A month of change, learning, and forgiveness

This month has been full (actually spilling over) : full of life and full of challenge

Change 

A. I started a new job on September 1.  And by job I mean I am participating in a National Service Program, where I volunteer at an organization/school/foundation 32 to 45 hours a weeks, participate in leadership training, work on community projects, and network like crazy so I basically work 50-60 hours a week - easy.  I will be doing this for the next 10 months.  Fortunately, I did this same program last year - so I know the drill, but it's still a minor shock after having the month of August off. 

B. Oh yeah, and the last week of August I decided to lose 100 lbs. yeah, that's a change. 

So mixing A + B = C, and C is for CHAOS.  It has proven to be incredible difficult to get use to a new job, new team, new goals, and all of this, all at once... this is where learning and forgiveness come in.

Learning

What I have learned...

• I have personally come a LONGGG way in the past year
• There are some areas in my life I need an extreme amount of structure and other areas where I do not (or I think I don't) 
• I pour myself into my job/work and forget about the day to day life needs
• I go into fight of flight mode when I am uncomfortable, unfamiliar, or looking for direction
• I start to shut down under these circumstances and I try to "fake it til I make it" but that is utterly exhausting

What I still need to learn...

• How to balance my work and life
• How to lean into the discomfort/unfamiliar with a little more ease
• How to build structure for the areas of my life that need it

Forgiveness 

I don't know it all and I make mistakes.  And I hate it. I want to know everything, I want to see everything coming, and I especially have no patience for the process (most of the time).  I am really trying to forgive and be kinder with myself.  This is going to be a life long process... to wake up and love myself no matter what.  


So what am I going to do with all of this?


1. I am starting Weight Watchers on Tuesday. This will offer structure while still keeping me honest and making good choices.
2. More Journaling, More Self-reflection, More gratitude (forgiveness in full effect) & More Blogging (I want to use this tool for what I intended it for in the 1st place)
3. Exercise (even if just for 10 minutes), Water, and proper sleep EVERYDAY.  


Has anyone out there had a dramatic change at the beginning of weight loss journey?  How did you handle it or get through it? I'd love some advice


Enjoy the rest of your weekend and have a beautiful week!